Why anger, frustration, or nervousness often jeopardize results – and how professionals keep a cool head
An interview with Dr. Marvin Müller, Head of Negotiations at Kloepfel Consulting.
Emotions at the Negotiation Table
How do you handle strong emotions like anger, frustration, or nervousness in yourself or your counterpart? Are there techniques to defuse tension?
Emotions are a key factor in negotiations. To avoid nervousness, frustration, or anger, thorough preparation and defining clear limits are essential. Emotional reactions such as anger or defiance often lead to irrational decisions that harm both sides. To ease tensions, I recommend consciously taking a break. Even a 15-minute pause can help significantly. Sometimes, simply addressing the tense atmosphere openly is enough to relieve the pressure in the room.
Building Trust
How do you build trust during tough price negotiations? Are there concrete steps to establish a strong relationship?
For me, the key word is transparency. In tough price negotiations, there is often an assumption that the other party is withholding the full truth or hiding something. That’s why I focus on disclosing as much information as possible. Only if the other side understands why I make a particular demand can it have any real impact. The goal is to establish credibility – and that only works if I clearly and openly explain the reasoning behind our position. Even in tough negotiations, this is how trust is built.
Likeability or Strategy?
How do you strike the balance between being likable and staying firm?
I combine clear objectivity with a friendly demeanor. I present our position very clearly and rationally to achieve the best possible outcome, while making sure the other party feels comfortable. A relaxed start with some small talk and offering coffee or water helps create an easy atmosphere.
Additionally, the decision-maker from our side deliberately stays out of the room. This allows us to communicate openly and clearly: “We’re just passing along the facts.” This approach defuses many situations. At the core, we always treat the other side with respect and appreciation, while staying firmly on course regarding the content. This combination has proven very effective in practice.
Nonverbal Communication
How closely do you pay attention to body language, tone, and facial expressions?
I pay close attention – but I don’t overemphasize it. In professional negotiations, both sides know how to send signals intended to confuse or mislead. For example, I might deliberately appear nervous or angry just to throw off my counterpart. Thorough preparation helps us avoid overvaluing nonverbal cues and stick to our script. Of course, afterward we reflect on whether certain behavior was tactical – but during the negotiation, it plays no decisive role for me.
Defeats & Lessons Learned
What was your toughest negotiation on a human level? What did you learn about yourself?
It was a contract worth several hundred million euros. One supplier lost and had to shut down a plant in Mexico employing several hundred people. Normally, I block out such consequences, but this case stayed with me for a long time. I realized: Despite all the routine, I’m not desensitized – and that’s a good thing.
Intuition vs. Reason
Are there moments when you consciously trust your intuition over the numbers?
In negotiations, reason generally trumps intuition. Gut feelings can be misleading – especially because the other side often sends false signals on purpose. But there are exceptions. For example, if I notice that a discount is accepted too easily, I become alert. That may indicate there’s more room than originally expected. In such cases, I take note, analyze, and possibly go for another round to extract more value.
This only applies in the upward direction, to identify extra room – never when it comes to our bottom line. When we say “this is the limit,” we stick to it, even under pressure.
Negotiations as a Character Test
Would you say negotiations reveal someone’s true character?
No, I don’t think so. Of course, you can see whether someone can separate emotions from facts or loses their temper easily. But in the end, we’re all playing roles. Negotiating is partly a performance. I’ve often thought after a tough session: I’d love to grab a beer with this person and discuss strategies. But, of course, I don’t show that at the table – it could jeopardize the outcome.
Who receives better negotiation training: purchasing or sales?
Clearly, sales often has the upper hand. Salespeople receive much more targeted negotiation training – their role is straightforward: be likable, close deals, maximize margin. Their entire structure and training are built around this.
Purchasing is different because the role is much more complex. Beyond negotiations, they deal with contract law, supply capability, operational procurement, claims, and more. Buyers have to be generalists, and as a result, targeted negotiation training is often neglected. This is a major competitive disadvantage because it means missing out on significant savings – often in the six- to seven-figure range.
Learn more about KLOEPFEL Negotiations!
Contact:
Kloepfel Group
Damir Berberovic
Tel.: +49 211 941 984 33 | Email: rendite@kloepfel-consulting.com